Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
