okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We're too hungover to prance.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
