That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
