There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
