$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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