So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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