I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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