Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
