My friends, they love my intelligence
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
one might say we're banned from that church
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
