Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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