I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
