roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
