my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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