You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
