Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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