when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
