Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
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