Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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