Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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