i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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