I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
