jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
