her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
