I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
