We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I AM VODKA MAN
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Let the clothes fall where they may.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
