hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i think my mom watched the whole time
farters have to be the big spoon...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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