Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
