I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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