i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
