I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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