Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why do cheetos always look like penises
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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