THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
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Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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