wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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