I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
