My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
