I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
