I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
