Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
