Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
