DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
