Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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