Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
