Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
