so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
porn star boner night. come get it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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