Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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