So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
