it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
