But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
