Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
