I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
