Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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