is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We left the knife in your bed.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
