The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
